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The Simplicity of Self-Awareness
by Matt Kahn

With eyes that are always looking to the outside world, it is easy to see how we get so consumed in the movie of our life that we are both watching, and simultaneously acting out. We often find ourselves in an endless cycle of giving our attention to the characters we meet, doling out our energy to the tasks at hand, and offering our time to the unfolding chain of events we witness through the lens of our point of view.

In this type of cycle, we wind up being so consumed in the outer world and our perception of ourselves within it, we fail to develop what is known as self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to be aware of the experience you are having, and to notice the reactions that are arising in you. Self-awareness is not the casting of blame toward any person or circumstance for whatever you think they have done, but the simple noticing of what you are feeling in response to what has unfolded.

The main goal of being self-aware is to always be aware of your own experience, simply so you may then decide how to best support yourself through any particular part of it. I remember when I first became self-aware, and to me, it felt like being my own best friend and parent, all at the same time. Prior to the awakening of self-awareness, I would determine the quality of any moment solely based on how I felt about it. If I didn't like how I felt, then I would usually consume my attention with looking for someone or something to blame. Once self-awareness dawned upon me, I would experience those same feelings as before, but with the question, "What do I need right now?" coming to mind.

Whatever it was that I felt I emotionally needed, I took the opportunity to offer it to myself. Whenever I did this, I could see from a greater perspective how that particular moment only occurred to deepen my own relationship with myself.

It's like hugging yourself during a frightening part of your life's ongoing movie. For me, the scariest part of my life's movie was the realization that underneath all of my reactions and instincts to look for a scapegoat for situations that have seemingly gone awry, was a deep fear of being afraid. I was so afraid of the feeling of being afraid, I spent my whole life trying to anticipate moments that might trigger such feelings, and tried to avoid them entirely. When I began to give to myself what I actually needed emotionally, avoidance became totally unnecessary, and the enjoyment of the life I was both watching and acting out, happened spontaneously.

For most of us, we may find ourselves devoting our entire focus to the situations we see, often forgetting there is a perceiver actually experiencing it. When we are able to momentarily pull our attention away from the storyline of life and can offer ourselves whatever is needed, then we are becoming more self-aware and can actually experience the joy of receiving. The act of receiving is really the activity of giving to yourself.

Even if you imagine receiving to be like a gift you get from another person, self-awareness helps you to see that friends and family members who are generous with their time and energy, are there to help you practice this invaluable act of receiving.

The more you allow yourself the chance to practice receiving, the better you feel in your own body. The better you feel in your own body, makes it more likely that you will want to share those good feelings with others, and offer to them the chance to practice receiving, as well. The better you feel in your own body through this practice of receiving, the more motivated you will feel about participating in the lives of others around you, and helping to create a harmonious world.

Even if you don't seem to notice others around you who are helping you practice receiving, you can take it upon yourself to ask, "What do I need right now?" By asking and then offering to yourself whatever it is you happen to need, the act of receiving deepens. By giving to yourself, you will naturally be more patient, understanding, compassionate with yourself and others, while entering each moment with a renewed sense of presence, and an expanded level of self-awareness.

Whether by appreciating what others are offering us emotionally, or simply through the practice of giving to ourselves, we begin to create a much deeper and satisfying relationship with ourselves and the world around us. Once we have tasted the truest value of our own love, simply by answering the call of emotional reactions within ourselves, we begin to greatly impact the world in such a positive way, by being an open and willing space, that is aware of itself as a living expression of love.

By opening to this expanded level of awareness, we learn to receive the power of our own loving-kindness, so we are aware of what amazing gifts rest within us, for the benefit of all. Whenever we taste the purity of our own love, we begin to get excited about the very gifts we actually came here to share.

Whenever we find ourselves moving through life, going through the motions and waiting for something different to suddenly pop up and rescue us from the dissatisfaction of our personal experience, we are acting out our precious lifetime as a victim of circumstances. When we allow our sense of self-awareness to simply embrace the thoughts or feelings of dissatisfaction within ourselves, we immediately begin to sense a deeper state of wholeness that can then be shared with the world around us.

This expanded state of self-awareness allows the flow of giving and receiving to be freely offered to ourselves and others, not for what we assume we will get in return, but as a celebration of all that we are capable of offering -- within a world that is already sharing itself with you. The simplicity of self-awareness helps you know the depth and value of your own love, so you can truly understand the priceless nature of yourself, and all that you generously offer to others.

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